Heal with NOT from

Sometimes just when we think we’ve healed. The past comes back rearing its ugly head and all of a sudden you realize just how much healing you have left to do.

I have spent countless years trying to prove to myself that I am capable of handling all of the things that I went through as a child head on, with my head high, and not a fear in the world. I have convinced myself that I have turned my fear into power, and that with that power I have the ability to speak up for both me and the people who feel they cannot.

Unfortunately, that’s not always the case.

Unfortunately, sometimes, I allow myself to be silent for fear of starting an argument, not being validated, being gas lit by others, being made to feel like my concerns aren’t relevant. Sometimes I don’t speak up for myself because my intrusive thoughts about my past creep in and convince me I shouldn’t by telling myself things like “you’re being crazy” when I KNOW in my heart that’s not the case.

So, let’s talk about it.

People on their healing journey spend years trying to be “so healed” that their past doesn’t bother them. That their traumas no longer trigger them, that their fears no longer exist. The raw reality of that is, they will always be there, your traumas, your fears, your triggers. It’s how we cope with them that makes the difference, it’s how we learn to acknowledge the triggers, how we learn to grow from the experiences, how we learn to give ourselves patience and grace in those moments. It’s how we can process the intrusive thoughts in a healthy way.

Traumas shouldn’t be something we strive to “get rid of” triggers shouldn’t be something we “make go away” they should be things that we acknowledge, that we grow with, that we accept within ourselves, and that we learn to work with.

They are reminders of things that we have lived through, things that have changed us, things that have made an imprint on who we are and who we will be going forward.

Use them to shape you into a better person, use them to teach you how to recognize other people’s triggers and traumas and to accept them, use them to teach you patience with those who you don’t understand because you don’t never know what has happened in their life.

Remember that when these things come creeping back from the shadows not to think it is a setback, not to feel like you haven’t healed enough, not to allow it to make you feel as if you haven’t put in enough effort.

Trauma is something you heal WITH not heal FROM.